The Heart that Almost Healed

I'm not ready to put myself out there and go on dates with other people. And what's even more frustrating is people just can't seem to grasp that idea. I hate not being able to hang out with someone, without having them assume that it's a date. Don't tell me to take chances. Don't tell me that everything will be okay. I don't ever want to hear "will you" and "date" in the same sentence. The other day, someone said, "maybe no one has done it right for you," so I did this thing where I laughed and then cringed.WHAT? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No matter how great a person they are, no matter who it may be, I refuse to give in. I'm simply just not ready. Why is it so hard for people to just want to be friends? 

For quite some time now, I've convinced myself into believing that my heart has healed from all the hurt from my past relationship, but that's not true. I mean, I've learned to let go, but the memories have instilled fear in me. I generally have the tendency of loving people too much, but as the relationships are more sentimental, I always seem to have my heart torn apart into pieces. I still have to get through all of school and I still have my career to figure out. I don't have extra time to spare for failing relationships. 

Usually I would tell my friends to have a little more faith and to just leap forward - "give 'em a chance." But I can't even take my own advice. We all want to believe that all relationships will persevere because in the moment, we feel so strongly about our emotions. The thing is that sometimes, those strong emotions are only temporary. It's a risk you have to take and I've decided not to take that risk. I want to spend my present time evolving as a person, and by the time I'm ready to jump into the water, I will have reduced the many chances of getting my heart broken. 

It's not them. It's me. I have an agenda, and a relationship is not part of it. It simply isn't. 

364 Days to Happiness

Since I've just turned 20, I've been given a greater incentive to want to persevere for a better life. To be absolutely honest, the last time I was satisfied with my life, was back when I was 16. It's been a long 4 years, filled with much fear and uncertainty. The melancholy feelings that arose back then have remained a part of my life for so long, that's it has affected so much of who've I become. And as much as I want to say that my change is for the better, it feels as though within the past 4 years, I've lost my way while traveling through the dark abyss, falling, tumbling, and running into the many messes that have tarnished my well-being. So from here on out, I'm making it a priority to clean up the mounds of rocks on my shoulders, the thorns in my hand, the mud on my feet, and the leaves on my back. By this time next year, I will be rejuvenated by all of my hard work to become happier and healthier person. I have 364 days and it may seem like a long time, but that's better than struggling for the rest of my life.

Zuzu Chicken

So during my 5-hour window, before class, Andrew and I went to Zuzu Chicken for lunch, in Glendora. I ordered the chicken kebab plate for $8.99, but my total came about to about $10 by the time tax was included, as well as a $0.50 charge for using a debit/credit card. Customer service here was pretty good. It looks like a family business and the woman would call me by terms of endearment, which was cute. I also asked about what kind of sauces they carried and and gave me a free side of tahini sauce to try. I thought the garlic sauce was way too strong, so I completely set it aside, but I'm glad I had the tahini sauce. YUM. I like that the chicken kebab plate was on the healthier side, compared to middle eastern foods such as halal. Of everything that came on my plate, I would have to say that I favored the rice the most. The chicken was seasoned well, but was a bit dry - probably because it's the breast cut. Their hummus was pretty good too, but Andrew told me he's had more flavorful hummus. Overall, I give Zuzu's a 4/5!

R2 Sisterhood

I'm thankful to have been hired at Ray-Ray's because it has given me the opportunity to meet such wonderful people. Cindy and Lina are two of the many people I've grown close to - they're like my sisters, and even though I've had to take a break from Ray-Ray's, it's kind of like I never left. I still swing by, and the smile on their face when I walk in is just priceless. They always want to catch up and genuinely care to ask how I'm doing - it's a very tender thing.

We caught up over dinner at The Counter. It's never a dull moment with these girls ♥ Dinner was spectacular! We got to build our own burgers with extremely fresh ingredients. We started off with a mix of Parmesan fries and sweet potato fries, worked our way into the burgers, and then ended with the caramel brownie a la mode. SO GOOD. My burger was 1/3 pound with a beef patty, tomatoes, grilled asparagus, grilled pineapples, grilled onions, and sauteed mushrooms, along with BBQ sauce.

Good food with great people. I couldn't have asked for a better memory.
I'll always be here for you girls whenever you need me. I love you!

Friday, April 19, 2013

I'm actually pretty tired, so I'm gonna keep this short.

This afternoon, carne asada fries at Alberto's with Anthony, Carl, and Sam. UNF.

Earlier this evening, sushi at Asahi with Andrew, Brian, Dianna, Jayson, Joe, Kevin, Kim, Tyrone, Sam, Sarah, Sean, and Sergio. DOUBLE UNF.

Highlights of my night:

1. Me: This is too big!
   Them: That's what she said.
   Them: Wendy, get the last piece.
   Me: Why do I always get the big piece?
   Dianna: Because you like big things in your mouth.
   Me: True, true. 

1. Ordering too much sushi and then stuffing the rest into my bag. 
2. Telling management that it was Tyrone's birthday, so then they'd play their birthday song.
3. Carpooling with Andrew, Brian, and Tyrone while they let me play my ratchet music. 

I have lunch plans tomorrow with Brittney, and lunch/dinner again on Sunday with Lina and Cindy. On the bright side, Patool and Tyrone are going to get a 24-Hour gym membership to workout with me! We start Monday. Let's go!